deciding not to decide

Dear Ask Mom- Is deciding not to decide a decision?

Absolutely yes.

too afraid to succeed

Dear mom, I want to change my life, but I’m so afraid that I’ll fail that I’m not doing anything and I just sit here unhappy. What should I do?
I don’t know what you want to do, but it sounds like you’re making all your decisions on fear (of failure). When you make decisions based on fear you’re avoiding failure, but you’re also avoiding success. Is that what you want to do?

too much effort

Mom, I have a friend who always wants to do things after work, but she wants to get together in her neighborhood which is almost half an hour from where I live and work. I keep making up excuses because I don’t want to put in that much effort after work to see her, but I’m running out of excuses. What should I do?
 Try telling the truth. If the truth isn’t a good answer then you have other problems with your friendship.

have more good than bad

Ask Mom: It seems like haters are everywhere. I have to deal with people who are rude and nasty every day and it makes me feel very negative, I’m in a bad mood and feel awful. How can I avoid those people?
You usually have no control over other people and how they act, so don’t worry about them. Think positive, picture someone or something that makes you smile when you feel like the haters affecting your attitude. Do little things, smile at someone, hold a door, let someone ahead of you in traffic. That’s how you take the power away from the haters. Every day try to make sure that the bad doesn’t take up more time in your life than the good.

taking a lot of deep breaths

I’m back…well I wasn’t really gone, I have been dealing with a spontaneous combustion disaster…can’t wait to catch up with everyone on Monday

ease into it

no one is less happy about admitting that summer is fading fast, but I found a good Autumn soup to help ease into it instead of going head first into Fall like I do most things…

simple Autumn roasted pumpkin soup

Serving Size / Yield
6 servings
4 -5 C. diced peeled pumpkin
2 large carrots, thickly sliced
2 large thickly sliced parsnips
1 medium sweet onion, diced
1/2 head garlic, still in the skins
4 T. olive oil
1/2 tsp. salt
1/2 tsp. pepper
2 to 3 C. vegetable stock, enough to bring the puree to the thickness you prefer
1 T. smoked paprika
pinch ground paprika
2 T. chopped fresh thyme
salt and pepper to taste

Preheat your oven to 350°F. In a large bowl, toss together the parsnips, carrots, onion, pumpkin, garlic, olive oil, salt and pepper. Place mixture in a shallow baking pan and roast for 40 minutes. Remove the garlic from the skins and place in a food processor with the other vegetables. Puree until smooth. Try adding some vegetable stock to help remove any lumps. Pour into a saucepan and add the vegetable stock, paprika, cloves, thyme, salt and pepper. Simmer for 10 minutes, stirring occasionally. Serve immediately.


no idea what to do?

hi Mom, I never have free time and when I do I have no idea what to do. So I waste all my free time trying to decide what to do. What’s wrong with me?
Nothing is wrong with you, but your problem makes no sense. It sounds like you’re so used to working and having someone else tell you what to do that you can’t think for yourself when you have free time. Make some free time everyday and plan for it ahead of time. If you have to make a free time to do list…and enjoy your free time.

go big or go home

Mom, I’m a woman and I love sports, but I keep meeting guys who hate sports! What can I do?
Where are you meeting these guys? – try sports restaurants, go to sporting events and join some teams. If you’re still not meeting guys who like sports, move to Buffalo!

happy birthday to my amazing assistant who is the best part of everything

speak up

dear Ask Mom, I’m too embarrassed to ask someone to repeat something when I don’t understand something and then I just stand there smiling. What should I do?
If you feel bad asking someone to repeat themselves because you feel like it implies that the speaker does not speak clearly, put the responsibility on you. Say that you’re not sure that you understood exactly what they meant and repeat what you think they said. Let them correct you if you got it wrong.

choose your emergencies carefully

Dear Mom,  I don’t know how to set priorities. I do everything like it’s a huge emergency and then I’m always worn out and I can never relax. What’s wrong with me?
I think you already said it. Everything is equally important to you which means you’re panicking even when you don’t need to. It’s almost as bad as being too laid back about everything so nothing gets done. Try to limit your emergency response to once in a while, the emergency list should be very short and everything else will get done.