Dear Mom, one of my friends complains about everything all the time. She complains about her job, what she’s eating, what she’s not eating, what she buys, what she doesn’t buy… . You get the idea and when I tell her to stop complaining or do something about it, she says that once she complains to me then she feels better. I’m glad she feels better but I feel worse! What should I do?
You’d be surprised how many people are like your friend. As long as they feel better that’s all that counts… . It’s nice of you to allow your friend to vent and feel better at your expense, but it’s not ok. Try to cut her off fast when the complaints start. As soon as she starts speaking don’t let her tell you the same stories again. Tell her that what she is complaining about sounds bad- and ask her what she thinks she should do about it? Put it back in her court before she has time to dump it on you for the two hundred and twenty-second time.
Dear MOM: I have broken all my resolutions. I’m already a failure the first week of the new year. What should I do?
Do it again, but this time make just one simple resolution and do everything you have to to make sure you keep it…
Mom- I got some gifts that I don’t want. Can I ask where they came from so that I can return them?
If it’s something that’s the wrong size you can ask so that you can exchange it, but otherwise don’t ask. Say thank you and keep it. You can regift it or donate it, but don’t ask where it came from just so that you can return it. If the person who gave it to you finds out that you returned it then you might make someone feel bad about trying to doing a good thing…it sounds like you don’t get the idea of giving or getting a gift.
Mom, I got gifts from friends and relatives for the holidays. Do I have to write thank you notes?
No, you don’t have to but it would be a very nice thing to do. You should always say thank you. It’s so much nicer than an email or phone call, but doing something is better than doing nothing.
Dear Mom, I have made some mistakes that I have been forgiven for, but I can’t forgive myself. What should I do?
You shouldn’t be harder on yourself than everyone else is on you. Try to figure out why you can’t forgive and forget. If you can’t move on talk to someone who can help you get unstuck.
let the chaos begin, early!!! today’s advice: take a lot of deep breaths
Dear Mom, I don’t want to give gifts next year. I get totally stressed out and buy things that I can’t afford and usually don’t like the gifts I get. Should I tell everyone now that next year I’m not giving gifts?
A year ahead of time? Don’t make a big announcement. Send a nice thank you note and mention that you love the gift, but that you are so lucky and there is really nothing that you need so next year so you will be making donations and you hope that in lieu of a gift everyone will make a donation in your name, too.
ok Mom, listen to this one, I gave a party and it was invitation only, but some people that I know brought people that I don’t know and while I was cleaning up I noticed a few small things missing! I want to call everyone and find out who took my things, should I?
Absolutely not, maybe the things got thrown away by accident, or slipped into chair cushions or something other than being stolen happened, so you can’t accuse anyone of taking anything without some very good proof. Look everywhere and even if you don’t find them don’t call, and next time don’t use anything very special or valuable at your next party.
Mom, I want to get in touch with friends during the holidays that I don’t keep in touch with during the year, but then it feels insincere and forced if I only talk to them once a year. What should I do?
If you want them to know that you’re thinking about them just send a card or note and don’t make a big deal about it. If they are over-joyed to hear from you then make a date to get together or something when the holidays are over, if you don’t hear from them leave it alone, no harm no foul.
Dear mom, I hate going to parties and I always stand alone then I leave. I don’t get many invitations anymore and I’m not surprised. Do I have to go if I’m invited?
Yes, and make yourself have a good time even if you are miserable doing it!! My friend’s mother told her never to turn down an invitation, that’s good advice.